


The Kink Fest

by pipisafoat



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Anal Play, Anal Sex, BDSM, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Bondage, D/s, Desperation, Edging, F/M, Feathers & Featherplay, Flogging, M/M, Marriage, Multi, Omorashi, Piss Play, Teasing, Threesomes, kink fest, pee desperation, roleplaying, safe words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 03:28:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14204049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipisafoat/pseuds/pipisafoat
Summary: Josh has a terrible, terrible idea.Or does he?(in which pip stuffs a lot of kink without anything really happening)





	The Kink Fest

**Author's Note:**

> Challenge to myself: Come on, you have such solidly kinky headcanon about so many West Wing characters. Write it! Write it all! In one piece! Without any sex! Without most of that kink happening! Yes, that's it: write long kinky exposition people will actually want to read!
> 
> I think I did it.

All in all, she doesn't know if she should blame the liquor or the fact that she was searching desperately for a reason to get Toby and Sam to stop pacing, but she's knows she was, at most, the instigator. The real one at fault was, in what she'd come recognize as a bit of pattern of his, Joshua Lyman. 

"Yes," he announced loudly, pointing at her with all the circumspection of someone she was never, ever, ever going to allow behind her podium. "Yes. You're brilliant. That is ... that's brilliant. If we keep all the ammunition in-house, nobody can shoot us in the foot."

"Unless someone were to take the ammunition out of the house and hand it to those who would harm us," Toby pointed out sensibly, "in which case, no, not brilliant to have every misstep laid out all at once."

Josh's pointing finger swung over to Toby. "Except yes, because then it seems like a disgruntled staffer making things up and besides, even the media has to get bored with scandal at some point and let us get back to running the country, right?"

CJ doesn't bother to hide her snort at that thought. How the man who singlehandedly bullied a reluctant campaign into what was heading towards a nice Presidency could think the press could ever get enough scandal.... And to think, he was the only one of them who had worked seriously in Washington before.

"Well, whatever. It still works better as lies if it's a disgruntled person just throwing shit on everyone," Josh decides firmly. "So the kink fest is on."

She's grateful for Toby's dour face and practicality as the man grabs Josh by the arm and shoves him into her office. Sam, looking very much like a deer in headlights, is easy to entice inside with a smile and a gentle grasp. Toby kicks the door shut behind them and turns to Josh. 

"So who's starting?" Josh asks, and CJ feels her jaw just drop open even as Sam lets out an utterly endearing nervous giggle she's not heard before. 

"You-" Toby starts, looking furious, and Josh grins. 

"Okay! Well, I like to be tied up, which probably isn't a surprise after Mandy."

Toby works his mouth soundlessly with his eyes shut for a long moment before he collapses onto CJ's couch. "You are an idiot," he pronounces, still not opening his eyes. 

"Because of Mandy? I mean, yeah, but--"

"Because of your mouth," CJ interrupts when all Toby does is rub his forehead. 

"What?"

CJ fights the urge sit beside her boss and mirror his pose. "You announced that we were having a kink fest."

"Aren't we?" Josh looks faintly alarmed at this prospect. "Uh, because, what I really meant was--"

"In the hall, Josh," Sam adds, and CJ thinks it might be the slightly scandalized tone in the youngest man's voice that finally gets through to him. 

"Oh. Oh! So we are still doing it?"

CJ eyes a thick briefing book on her desk and wonders if it would hurt more if she hit Josh in the back of the head with it or just threw it at him. She settles for a loud sigh instead. "Four years of this?"

"Eight," Josh replies, looking so smug that she contemplates the briefing book again. Probably something to keep in reserve for the future. "Anyway, Sam won't tie me up, so maybe that's something one of you would be interested in?"

Sam's yelped "Josh!" bleeds into Toby's grumbled "Over a set of railroad tracks, maybe," and suddenly the situation that, sure, she's big enough to admit she started, is so absurd that she clutches at Josh's elbow on her way to the floor, giggling hysterically the whole way. 

"You," she splutters after a minute of three men staring at her in concern, "are exactly the reason we keep the press in their own special room."

Josh somehow takes that as a compliment, and CJ just lets herself spiral through more giggles as Toby groans and Sam stares in growing horror at his new coworkers. He finally reaches a hand down for CJ and cuts his eyes meaningfully at the couch. 

"Thank you, Sam," she says as she smoothes her skirt over her knees and looks absolutely anywhere but at Josh Lyman. Sam might not survive another round of giggles at this rate. He nods at her, then rounds on Josh, hitting him in the chest with a loud backhand. 

"Don't you ever make the closeted Democrat heading for the White House be the voice of reason in a discussion on sexual discretion ever again!" he hisses before joining CJ on Toby's other side. "At least we know in advance who our biggest liability will be."

"Wait, what just happened?" Josh asks, rubbing his chest absently. "Also, who?"

"Who, he asks. I need a drink," Toby announces, and CJ reaches blindly under the couch to pull out a bottle of brandy. 

"We all need a drink," she answers, taking a swig before passing him the bottle. 

"Without glasses." Sam looks weirdly repulsed and intrigued, and she suddenly wonders if his innocent, pretty exterior extends to having never skipped cups on the way to blazing drunk. 

"Without glasses," she confirms instead, deciding not to get on all fours to dig for the set she knows she stashed beside the bottle, if for no reason other than Josh clearly requires all three of them to pay attention to him at once just to avert minor crises. Well, that and the fact that he might decide to jump her if she turns her ass toward him. 

"So Sam's bisexual, so am I, plus the tying up thing. CJ, I'm guessing you also like a little rope burn, so Toby, what's your thing?"

Sam actually whimpers this time, and she reaches across Toby to pat his thigh reassuringly even while glaring daggers at his friend. She's baffled that a political mastermind can be this obtuse. "Sit," she commands in her quietest, strongest voice, and Josh freezes before sliding instead to his knees. 

"Or I could be a little, you know, backwards in my assumption?"

"Shut up," she orders him. "Sam, beat him about the head if he opens his mouth again."

"Save some of the fun for me," Toby mutters as he rescues the bottle from Sam's shocked fingers. 

CJ gives Josh a dismissive glance before turning her attention to the men on the couch with her. "Now that's he's silenced - Josh, if Sam won't do it, do you really think Toby would hesitate right now?"

"I really wouldn't," Toby assures her, lifting a lamp from her table. She watches Josh snap his mouth shut out of the corner of her eye. 

"I actually like that lamp," she tells Toby, about to offer him the briefing book when Sam flails a little on the other end of the couch. "Right. Sam, any vengeful ex boyfriends who might try to make the President-Elect's life more interesting?"

Sam seems to calm at having a question to answer, a task to do, and she notes it in the back of her head. "Only this idiot, and he's not vengeful so much as ... tragically misguided. No vengeful ex girlfriends, either, though I imagine Mandy wants to kill me, and I wasn't even the one dating her."

"Let's take it as read that Mandy wants to kill all of us," CJ decides, pushing aside the oddly alluring mental image of Josh with Sam for the moment. 

"And that we all want to kill her right back. Josh, agree with me or I break this lamp."

CJ snatches the lamp from Toby's hand with a short aggrieved sound. "I said I like this lamp!"

"Well, I'm not dumping alcohol on his head," Toby replies, taking another drink from the bottle.

"There is a perfectly good briefing book on my desk."

Toby's calculating look at the massive book is broken by Sam's sigh. "Josh, is your safeword still beets?"

Josh looks sidelong at CJ before nodding. 

"If I agree to tie you up on occasion, will you drop whatever ridiculous idea you had here and let us get back to the speech?"

"No," CJ replies, oddly thrilled that despite Josh's visible agreement with her, he still hasn't spoken. "You need to drink, not write, and I think Josh said you don't like to tie him up. You can speak again, Genius, but only until you annoy me again."

"So like three words," Josh mutters, shifting off his knees to sit with his legs stretched in front of him, leaning on his thighs. "And it's not just that he doesn't like to do it. He's bad at it."

"I can learn." 

Josh catches CJ's eye and indicates Sam. "That mutinous little chin tilt he has going on there? Never a good sign."

"Moot point, anyway, if I enjoy it," CJ says, and everyone in the room seems to catch their breath at the same time. She's not sure if it's her admission or the fact that it's not an ex making the veiled proposition but something shifts around her before Josh nods. 

“That would definitely work for me,” he confirms softly. “You’re … I mean … Yeah. Yeah, that really works for me."

She smiles at him, debates ordering him back on his knees, and shakes the idea off when Toby speaks.

“Just to be clear - we are, in fact, discussing all of our kinks and how we in this room can fulfill them for each other?”

“To avoid being outed to the press?” Sam adds, a little undertone to his voice that CJ can’t quite place.

“We are,” she says in a quiet, firm voice, not looking away from Josh. He hasn’t broken eye contact since they agreed to have kinky rope sex.”

Toby huffs, a sound that seems to be a laugh trying to hide in his beard. “Well. What else do you need, Josh?”

He finally breaks eye contact with CJ, staring at the floor and turning bright red. “N-nothing,” he stammers.

“Josh,” she says, and he meets her eyes again instantly. “Share.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He takes a deep breath, then shuts his eyes before tumbling words out almost faster than she can understand. “There’s a thing I really really like, but mostly it’s something that I do alone, I mean I don’t really care one way or the other if someone else is involved, but every now and then I do need someone, and it’s not … You wouldn’t … I only … Control, it’s just control, just telling me not to go, that’s all, that’s it, not the other part, you don’t need to be there for the other part, just the control.”

There’s a long moment while they digest his words, then Sam sighs and shakes his head. “It’s piss play, I know he won’t say it. He wants someone to control his bladder, but he’s just as happy … finishing it … alone as with someone. I don’t mind being a part of that, but I’m actually thinking maybe Donna—“

“No,” Josh and Toby say at the same time before cutting each other calculating glances.

“We are not involving any assistants,” Toby says, and a little bit of tension bleeds out of Josh. CJ notes his reaction but doesn’t comment; there’s nothing to comment on yet. “I think any of us would be happy to help you with that, Josh.”

Josh looks vaguely disturbed. “No offense, Toby, but you don’t work for me.”

The older man grins suddenly, all teeth and bite and selfish humor. “You’re not my type either, but I would have no problem getting you into a sticky - or wet - situation.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Josh mutters. “Okay, you share then.”

Toby shrugs. “I’m almost entirely vanilla. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Almost?” Sam asks, and CJ hopes the curiosity she sees on his face isn’t the first step toward him getting a crush on his boss. God knows she’ll have enough work with Josh and Donna’s flirtations, Toby and Andy’s flailing marriage, and keeping Sam’s bisexuality secret enough for him to run for office one day.

Toby shrugs again. “A little bit of holding down, a little bit of anal, but nothing else comes to mind.”

Sam and Josh both look disappointed, but CJ laughs. “Why are you even here then?” she asks him, taking the bottle away from him and enjoying another swig.

“You need help keeping these idiots in line.”

“Hey!” Sam objects, but Josh just grins like a little boy.

“Sam, your turn,” he says gleefully. “Or shall I?”

The younger man rolls his eyes. “You shall not. You’d say I’m trying to set a record for longest sex, but I’ll say I like teasing and edging.”

“Yes, please,” CJ says quickly. “You like to tease or be teased?”

He shrugs. “Either, but more to tease.”

“Yes, please,” she repeats.

“Feathers?”

“Anything.”

“He’s good with a flogger, too,” Josh puts in. “Which I’m happy to enjoy without you, CJ, but I thought I should offer.”

Sam hums. “I am. I have a few you can pick from.”

“I’ll pass, but I do have some interesting plans for a threesome now.”

Josh’s moan echoes around the small office, and CJ exchanges a startled look with the other two men.

“Well, you three can clearly work this out on your own, so I’m going to go find my wife,” Toby announces, rising from the couch. CJ shoots a hard glance at Josh the moment he moves and follows Toby into the hall.

“Look,” she says quietly enough that he steps closer to hear her clearly, “I’m not saying this is or isn’t going to happen, but if you were to need something that you couldn’t get from Andy anymore, I’m here, okay?”

His face is a study in being unimpressed. “Thanks for the vote of confidence in my marriage.”

“Toby—“

“No. That’s not an option. It’s a rough patch, and I’ll fix it. Not by sleeping around. Now go play with your new toys.” Even his footsteps sound angry as he strides away, and CJ sighs before slipping back into her office.

“Hey, so we were talking about roleplaying - any interest?” Josh asks as soon as the door closes behind her. “Or maybe we should each write down all our kinks and compare lists. Or would that be bad, to have it on paper?”

She exchanges an exasperated look with Sam, suddenly full of visions of exchanging that same look with him about Josh being monumentally stupid for the next eight years, and her heart aches with fondness for the men in front of her. Earlier in the day, she would have tentatively called them her friends; now, she’s ready to call them her boys, because she can’t call them ‘close friends with whom I have sex’ in public.

Maybe Josh’s kink fest wasn’t such a terrible idea after all.

**Author's Note:**

> (so uh also feel free to request anything these characters are into be written as an actual sexy and/or kinky encounter)


End file.
